As a disability support worker, I often receive comments like, “Wow, you’re such a good person,” or, “They’re very lucky to have you,” from people when they hear what I do for work. I generally enjoy accolades for my work in all areas, but this particular kind of comment irks me. In part, it irks me because it’s awkward to be sainted for my job when I actually really like my job. However, it also irks me because it usually rests on inaccurate and overly grim assumptions about people with intellectual disabilities.
While my job as a resident living assistant for a group home housing people with intellectual disabilities does require patience, and people with intellectual disabilities often have specific needs and wants, this does not make my job inherently more difficult than other jobs.
Before I get into my argument, I would like to acknowledge that there is a broad range of experiences and identifications a person with an intellectual disability might relate to, and that this article does not address all of them; I’m also giving a secondhand report on a group that is often capable of speaking for itself.
Some people with intellectual disabilities — typically defined by characteristics like IQ scores and support needs — live with relatives. Others live in group homes, like the one I’ve worked for about 10 months, and others live in their own apartments.
That last bit of information — that some people with intellectual disabilities have their own apartment — might be news to some people without an intellectual disability, but it’s not actually that uncommon. People with intellectual disabilities — including those whose support needs don’t allow for that living arrangement — aren’t checked out of life because of their disability. Most have family members and friends that they like to hang out with; many also have jobs, volunteer in their communities or have long-time romantic partners.
The residents where I work are no different. For legal and ethical reasons, I can’t share specific details or stories about them –– but they, like any other people, have their own plans and interests, which they usually like to share with those around them. A couple of them have — successfully — introduced me to their favorite shows and — unsuccessfully — to their favorite bands. They’re also often interested in hearing about what I do outside of the group home, including my work at Chimes. Because of this, my job can be a lot of fun.
My job can also be frustrating sometimes — as most jobs are — especially when a resident and I may have a disagreement about how a situation should be handled. Occasionally, when a disagreement is especially sharp, a resident will yell at me. Also, interacting with people who request frequent attention can be tiring.
The fact that people with intellectual disabilities also do these things does not make them somehow exceptionally difficult; it just makes them people.
However, I don’t think this makes my job inherently more difficult than other jobs. As a former retail worker, I am aware that people without disabilities regularly yell at and insult those who are trying to help them, often for no apparent reason. Disagreements and bids for employees’ time and energy are a natural part of any service. There’s a lot that could be said about the phenomenon of people getting upset at service workers, but I think part of it boils down to a fact about humans in general. People aren’t always easy to work with. They get upset. They say unkind things. They need many things. In short, they have their own lives in which they are the main character.
The fact that people with intellectual disabilities also do these things does not make them somehow exceptionally difficult; it just makes them people. Thus, I don’t think we should conceptualize disability support workers such as myself as some unique or morally superior class of laborers. Sometimes, our jobs are challenging, but these challenges are in many ways the same as those faced by any other worker whose job puts them in direct contact with other people. People — including people with intellectual disabilities — have their own wants, needs and preferences. At times, this leads to conflict. However, it’s also what makes us human.