Last time I wrote on bread, I tried to convince you that making bread was good for you. However, my visits to Aldi and Meijer in the following days revealed that Grand Rapids’ supply of flour, yeast and salt was far from depleted. Indeed, it appeared as robust as ever. Obviously, my logical, albeit scientific appeal to baking was insufficient. How foolish was I to withhold the real reason why you should bake bread! (Mind you, there are many reasons why you should make bread beyond its scientific and moral importance, but why play the queen when you hold the ace?) 

Baking bread can get you dates! While deeply mysterious, bread’s tried and true method works on any age, guy or gal. Shaking off that sophomore slump? Ready to do the junior jump? Are you a senior scrambling to bejewel an unsuspecting hand? Baking bread is for you! (Honestly, freshmen do not need any help finding dates, but they can surely bake bread to conquer their feelings of unrequited love.)

You might think I jest, that this entire opinion lacks gravity and is a waste of dough, but such claims are hardly true. On Easter eve of this year, I escorted a fine loaf of pain d’épi (a type of French bread) down the hallway to my future-girlfriend’s apartment as a part of a baking exchange. A quick few hours later, I returned elated that I had somehow connected with this fascinating person. Bread provided the opportunity, realized a discussion, and puffed up my courage to eventually ask her out on a date. 

So, how can you ensnare someone with a carb-rich creation? I suggest two approaches: bake and make, or make and bake. The bake and make approach is first baking the bread, then presenting it to the person of interest. This is usually best suited to situations where you already know the person or have a candid opportunity to share. In either case, emphasis must be placed on the quality of the baked goods — i.e., the better your buns are, the better the shot you have. If successful, it is then natural to invite them over to make it with you. Mission accomplished. For the make and bake approach, gather up your courage and flour (and maybe a flower) and invite them on a baking adventure. The in-person baking experience provides valuable insight into the life and manner of another person but can be overwhelming, especially if neither of you have baking experience. However, the plentiful downtime during rising and baking provides an easy opportunity to listen and ask questions about the other person — just like a regular (non-)date. In the end, you can enjoy and bond over what you have created together. (For my gluten-free friends, I highly recommend brown butter chocolate chip cookies, as rising a gluten free loaf is quite a challenge.) 

Baking bread gets your foot in the door; it’s then up to you to put in the work and rise to the occasion.