Standing with love and compassion for biblical marriage
I am a Christian who believes in the biblical view of marriage – monogamous marriage between a biological man and a biological woman. Many in the Calvin community are upset by the events of last week Tuesday and the table that was set up on Commons Lawn, and I understand and feel (as best I can) for those who were hurt by a display that did not come across as loving or promoting respectful discussion. I am one of your many peers on Calvin’s campus who holds to the view defined above, and I have been disheartened to see myself and my other peers vilified by many, on and off campus, for holding to this biblical stance. I am writing this piece to encourage other students who also hold to the biblical view of marriage to understand and discuss sexuality and marriage in a loving, God-centered way on campus and in our community. I hope it will show love, not hate, towards those on our campus who disagree.
We must always begin this conversation with the understanding that each one of us is loved by God so much that He sent His Son to die for us — His fallen image bearers. It is only because of this love that we all have worth and value. As a Christian, I believe ALL (myself included) have fallen short of the glory of God and ALL need saving, and I firmly believe that we are equal in the eyes of our God and we must treat each other with respect and dignity. We should hold all of our conversations with these truths in mind.
God, in His Word, is straightforward about the purpose of marriage in His creation. In Mark 10:6-8 (referencing Genesis 2:24), Jesus says: “’But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female.’ ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ ‘So they are no longer two, but one flesh.’” God designed marriage to exemplify His image in this world, and more specifically, in the Christian church (as the Bride of Christ). Biblical marriage (God’s design for marriage) is a covenant relationship between a man and a woman, and marriage is the best it can be when it is following this biblical model. The biblical definition of marriage is non-negotiable; it is a position the Christian church has held throughout all of history, and it is not a position we should renegotiate now as the culture is shifting away.
How then are we as Christians to respond to this biblical truth when we are surrounded by a culture that calls our beliefs “hateful?” There are many who believe what I explained in the last paragraph is hateful or non-loving towards my neighbors who do not agree with this biblical definition. I argue exactly the opposite. The Bible is clear that we must speak the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15). To be clear, this does not mean condemnation, but it does mean that as Christians we are called to speak truth out of a place of love. This world and all that is in it is broken, and only through God can it be made right. We should be speaking up and promoting God’s design and plans for the world, and in this case, marriage.
Our culture (and all other cultures around the world) have always had broken views of marriage, and the Bible speaks against adultery, infidelity, abuse in marriage, fornication, and homosexual relations as all violating the biblical standard. As Christians, we should be speaking out against cultural shifts that part of the Church is embracing, making sure not to overemphasize just one single area. We should not support any marriage that falls outside of God’s perfect design, but instead we should uphold and promote God’s intentional, perfect plan for marriage, marriage that He designed to exemplify His image in the world and to be a blessing for us. As Christians we must speak up about biblical marriage, but we must always make sure our conversations are based in truth, love, and compassion.
Evan • Mar 23, 2021 at 10:09 pm
I would encourage you to do some research on the neurobiology of gender, neurobiology of sexual orientation, and neurodiversity in general if you actually care about more deeply understanding things like biology (biology and gender, biology and sexuality, etc.) and importantly, being accurate when you write things. Otherwise don’t use biology as a weapon in the culture war, it will horribly backfire if you’re a biblical literalist. Isn’t that painfully obvious? The bible says exactly nothing about chromosomes, but if it did there would be the acknowledgement of the 3rd sex; intersex people (go do some biology research, don’t take my word for it) that are unfairly excluded from your exclusivity. Neoconservatives embracing “biology” very recently is absurd and laughable, and beyond that profoundly, blindingly hypocritical. This article is sad because it speaks with confidence about “truth” but contains little.
TL/DR biology is not your actually in the bible or on your side
Ash johnson • Mar 23, 2021 at 10:01 pm
Again with this outdated argument. If you actually researched the Bible, you would know the word homosexual was added in 1976. It is not part of the original text. The original text pretranslation os referencing pedophila and translates to man shall not lie with boy. Maybe try living like Jesus for a change, mind your own, be kind, and not jump on the hate fake Christianity bandwagon.
Francisco • Mar 23, 2021 at 9:51 pm
Gay people were here before the bible, and we will continue to be here after the bible fades into obscurity. Your view of Christianity is antiquated white misreadings of a secondary source from hundreds of years ago that has been translated by hundreds of humans with unique political agendas. People like you are what give people who genuinely love and practice this faith a terrible name. I feel very sorry for you, and that people simply minding their own business getting married seems to bother you so much. I cannot help but think this comes from a place of real anxiety and I pray you get help however you need it. Clearly, gay people live rent-free in your mind, I’m thankful heterosexuals don’t live in mine save for when they subject me to this kind of thing. We do not live in a Christian state, and marriage existed much earlier than your religion did, so either way, your argument makes little sense. Contrary to many’s belief, your religion does not give you the right to deny others rights. If you would like that ability I suggest you live in a religious state, perhaps not a secular democratic one.
Elyssa Bolt • Mar 23, 2021 at 4:17 pm
I can’t believe there are still people who believe nonsense like this, but I guess I needed a reminder why walking away from Christianity was the most liberating experience of my life. Such hypocrisy and cherry-picking of evidence. Pathetic.
April • Mar 23, 2021 at 7:01 am
Thank you for affirming that by being Agnostic, I’m doing what’s right by not only myself, but my family, as well.
I’m happy to be raising a child who will know only love and acceptance for the person they are, who they will love, and who they will marry.
Reading this makes me think, “Thank goodness I’m not a Christian”. It’s this type of rhetoric that is (again, thankfully) causing declines in Christianity, and a rise in people who no longer consider religious affiliation.
https://www.pewforum.org/2019/10/17/in-u-s-decline-of-christianity-continues-at-rapid-pace/
Keep up the good work. We need more people knowing that the bible is a book, people are born they way they are, and love is love (no matter how you choose to interpret it).
PS. If you choose to be so specific in regards to the Bible- please tell me Calvin at least provides separate seating for female students while they are on their period. Wouldn’t want any male sitting on an unclean surface.
“And if a woman have an issue, and her issue in her flesh be blood, she shall be put apart seven days: and whosoever toucheth her shall be unclean until the even. And every thing that she lieth upon in her separation shall be unclean: every thing also that she sitteth upon shall be unclean. And whosoever toucheth her bed shall wash his clothes, and bathe himself in water, and be unclean until the even.” Leviticus 15:19-21
Or we could go through the MANY specifications made in the bible, that don’t seem to matter.
Ryan T Huizenga • Mar 22, 2021 at 9:30 pm
Your view is old and tired. It’s not biblical. Please do better.
Michael • Mar 22, 2021 at 7:21 pm
I There isn’t one definition of “biblical marriage.” There are dozens. Some biblical marriages were with multiple partners. Some were glorified sex slavery. Some were quasi-incestuous. The notion that there’s only ever been one definition of biblical marriage is a vacuous and lazy defense of moral outrage born of aversion. Just because you find every marriage but your own ideal to be icky doesn’t mean that god does too. And revulsion dressed in sanctimony certainly doesn’t justify treating people you claim to love with contempt.
Paul Woodbury • Mar 22, 2021 at 3:32 pm
I disagree with you, but the main (initial) thing I would ask of you is to stop using the phrases “the biblical view on marriage”, “biblical marriage”, etc.
Your view is based on your reading of the Bible – fine. To you, the interpretation you’ve arrived at is obvious and clear – ok.
What I want you to remember every time you use those phrases I mentioned is that what you are also communicating is that you think other Christians who read the Bible but come to other conclusions are either idiots or don’t care what it says. If you DO think that then I guess go ahead but you might as well go all in and say that rather than trying to sound polite when the subtext is so insulting, patronising, and ultimately inaccurate.
Margie • Mar 19, 2021 at 8:38 pm
Alaina,
Your humility and love shine throughout this letter. Two attributes this world needs more of.
Joseph • Mar 19, 2021 at 1:42 pm
Thanks for this powerful article. I stand with those who tabled Tuesday and in doing so, I stand for God’s Word. Regardless of interpretation and our feelings, it is the same forever. Calvin, needs to make a stand. Either they accept government funding or accept the Bible. The college is misleading those who are captured in sin. That’s not ok. That’s not love. To all those who struggle with LGBTQ attractions and sin in general. If you claim to be a Christian, leave your sins at the cross. You will find forgiveness, peace, and love there.
Phil • Mar 19, 2021 at 12:08 pm
This is an old, tired argument. Preaching exclusion while insisting that it’s based in “truth, love, and compassion” is as ancient a tactic as it is a disingenuous one. People have used “biblical evidence” to defend slavery, sexism, war, torture, and countless other overtly hateful and misguided perspectives. And it does not make me feel better for you to claim your own brokenness, as if that’s supposed to add a shred of credibility to your already frail argument. People are killing themselves over this kind of direct spiritual shaming, Alaina. Did you know that? Have you ever actually talked to a queer person? Or are they too disgusting to you?