I have experienced amazing moments within the CPI community. Celebrating others’ accomplishments, enjoying comradery while displaying our talents, studying in small groups or just sipping coffee in our commons area while fellowshipping are just a few examples. However, the joy from those shared experiences can fade swiftly if I do not maintain a firm grip on my own emotions. Mrs. Haven, Associate Director to CPI, is who I would consider an ambassador of joy. Because I struggle with fleeting moments of joy, I asked her how she keeps hold of her joy without allowing other elements to steal it away. She responded, “Easier said than done, but it comes down to choosing to hold on to joy.” Upon hearing this, my mind began its own monologue: “Choosing to be joyful? What? Of course I want to choose to be joyful, am I not choosing to hold on to joy?” These unanswered questions urged me to wonder if I had actually ever chosen to be filled with joy and held on to that feeling. Moreover, I was unsure as to why I would let go of joy so easily.

Convinced Mrs. Haven’s emotional intelligence is superior to mine, I reflected deeply about what causes someone to feel joy. The question then became, “Would choosing to hold on to joy result in subduing trauma and resolving stress in my life?” Dr. Bessel van der Kolk wrote in his 2014 book, The Body Keeps the Score, “The more neuroscience discovers about the brain, the more we realize that it is a vast network of interconnected parts organized to help us survive and flourish. Knowing how these parts work together is essential to understanding how trauma affects every part of the human organism and can serve as an indispensable guide to resolving traumatic stress.” Upon learning about the interaction of different parts of the brain being essential to one’s flourishing, I realized that how we function in community with one another is also essential to our vitality. Yet, I was still not certain how to hold on to joy to subdue past trauma. 

In order to answer this question, I leaned heavily on my studies in the course Spiritual Disciplines, Spiritual Formation and Discipleship. I found that affirmations are a peripheral act of kindness, not mentioned among the leading spiritual disciplines, such as prayer, fasting, meditating, etc. However, I argue that as a discipline or rule of life, giving affirmations to those whom we encounter is essential to the health and wealth of relationships, as well as an interconnected component to having joy in community. For instance, people who are affected by trauma often have a hard time relating to others. Dr. van der Kolk speaks about deeply rooted traumas and the effects these traumas have on the human body, including how “physiological reactions can result in a whole range of physical symptoms, including fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, and other autoimmune diseases.” One could then assume the opposite effect would occur if life affirming actions, opposed to traumas, were displayed daily toward others. Might they have better health and stronger relationships? I think this would not only have a positive impact on others’ lives but also on the person who is speaking the life-giving affirmations into the lives of others — essentially being interconnected by joy.

For instance, how many of us have walked past others in our sphere of influence — whether that sphere is an academic, work, family or social sphere — and not even looked into the face of a passerby? Moreover, how many times have we walked past a person whose facial expressions represent a help-wanted emoji and not stopped to do a simple health check by asking, “how is your day going?” and meaning it. Both of these instances could be traumatic if the person we are passing by is actually wanting to interact with someone, yet does not know how. We tend to get so immersed in our own daily lives that we forget we are only a small component of this human project. While others in our community are suffering we become encumbered by our little sphere and neglect to be “fruitful and multiply.”

I can only imagine how hectic life becomes on the Knollcrest Campus. I, being incarcerated, am freed from being a targeted-ad magnet through all the electronic devices, where cookies become obstructions to human interaction. I have considered what I would be like if I were not granted the opportunity to engage in a community of higher-learning. Some of these thoughts have included, “Even though I was unable to raise my own son, tend to the needs of my aging parents, be a brother, uncle or friend, these days is it better that I am in isolation from the current distractions of the world?” This is realistic. I did not function well in society when there were less vices trafficked, and without the time, effort and partnership of the Michigan Department of Corrections, Calvin University, Calvin Seminary and the seventh cohort, I would still be ill-equipped in society today. Thank God they all considered me redeemable.

It is because I am redeemed that I am able to argue for affirmations to be considered a spiritual discipline. Further, I want to foster a lasting joy in the human project which transforms our relationships with one another. As such, I believe affirmations given and received should be a daily discipline acted out as a community. I have always had a difficult time receiving affirmations from others. I have not always felt I deserve such good tidings from another human. Having been subsumed into prison for a heinous crime, I could have never hoped for a future where I was redeemable. This frame of mind has caused me to feel inadequate and to have a lack of confidence, along with a deep-seated shame. As a result, these traumatic emotions limited my capacity to engage my community on a level where I could add any lasting joy. 

However, now being equipped with the arsenal of community building tools to help heal wounds — both my own and hopefully others’ — daily affirmations have been my remedial salve to the scourge of past trauma. I wish to incite you to also engage in affirmations. As a suggestion to accomplish this inclusion of affirmations, I urge students on both campuses to choose one day of the week, decide to go tech-free for about an hour or more if needed, and simply speak life affirming words into one another. Further, we on the Handlon campus would love to hear — through Chimes — from those who have participated in a daily giving and receiving of affirmations. How have those affirmations encouraged you to be comfortable in uncomfortable situations? How has spreading joy to others impacted your life? Ultimately, has giving and receiving affirmations helped you on your spiritual path in life? If so, I hope you share those moments.