I’ll admit that when I started watching my first K-drama, doing so went directly against the dating advice I typically give when asked: “Don’t do anything you wouldn’t independently enjoy just because it’s for a date.” My then-girlfriend liked K-dramas, and suggested we watch a series called Business Proposal together with some friends. 

Initially, I couldn’t care less about the tangled plot, and I didn’t pay particularly good attention to the subtitles I was supposed to be reading. I found the way the characters willfully misinterpreted emotions to be exasperating. I spent the first episode or two privately wishing the characters would just get over the manufactured problem of the moment, or be upfront about their feelings, rather than be annoyingly passive-aggressive or coy. 

That attitude didn’t last long, though. As the show went on, I found myself getting lost in the plot more and more often. The characters were usually exaggerating or misunderstanding something in an unrealistic way, but the show was a drama, after all. It’s supposed to be dramatic. Letting go of the expectation of realism allowed me to periodically escape into a world of heated boardroom fights, needlessly romantic corporate meetings, and an unreasonable number of love interests suddenly appearing from elevators. 

By episode three or so, my interest in watching Business Proposal for the sake of the story was entirely genuine, even though I probably wouldn’t have admitted how fun I found the storytelling style. After all, I’m generally more of the direct, serious, thoughtful type. Could someone like me really enjoy something so shallow? Definitely. 

After making it through all twelve episodes of Business Proposal (would recommend), watching K-dramas fell off my radar for a while. Late-night comedians and SNL skits once again became my entertainment of choice. That is, until this semester, when my love of learning languages led me to fill some extra space in my schedule with Korean 101. Although it’s a great class, I knew from experience with other languages that relying only on class time and homework wouldn’t get me to the level I wanted. I started looking for ways to fill that gap with Korean culture, looking for Youtubers, musicians, and Korean news channels to fill the void. 

While that strategy has worked for me in the past, it just didn’t click with Korean. If only there was a well-known piece of Korean culture that I was already familiar with and knew I enjoyed… Nearly two full years after the last time I had seen one, I realized it was time to find another drama. 

A friend recommended Queen of Tears, a sort of reverse love story about a married couple who have fallen out of love with each other. My initial reaction was somewhat similar to hearing about Business Proposal, but I decided to give it a shot. 

I watched the first three episodes (more than an hour each) back to back, and finally tore myself away to go to sleep around 2 a.m. In my experience, the draw of K-dramas is that they aren’t meant to be reasonable. I devoured the first six episodes, remembering how much fun it was to get too invested in classic storylines and tropes. Once I couldn’t find the remaining episodes online for free, I was more than a little sad. 

One of my favorite elements of the K-drama genre is how the audience often knows more than any of the characters in the show about what’s going on. The plot goes on elaborate side tangents all to set up a moment or two where the characters are confused and only the viewer can fully grasp the irony of what’s going on. This structure builds a sense of intimacy between the show and the viewer, like letting someone in on an inside joke. More than once, I’ve found myself hoping that the characters I like figure something out, while the ones I don’t stay in the dark. 

I think really watching a K-drama has to be participatory in this way. If you approach the story expecting it to be straightforward, deep, or purely funny, you’ll likely leave disappointed. Instead, someone watching a K-drama needs to be prepared for twists and turns, and willing to spend time on disconnected story elements before everything comes together at the end. If you like your shows realistic, K-dramas might not be for you. The fun of watching K-dramas is the chance to lose yourself in a story, even if it’s just for a few moments. 

If that sounds enticing, maybe pick a K-drama and give it a try. Be patient, and you might find a new genre you love. And if you do, can I share your Netflix password? I need to finish Queen of Tears.