Calvin University's official student newspaper since 1907

Calvin University Chimes

Since 1907
Calvin University's official student newspaper since 1907

Calvin University Chimes

Calvin University's official student newspaper since 1907

Calvin University Chimes

Amy Poehler and Tina Fey host 71st annual Golden Globe Awards

It’s the one giant award show that celebrates the very best in both television and film, where the people who make these beautiful works of art come to life, sit at big round tables and drink themselves silly.

It is the Golden Globes.

Following last year’s example, Tina Fey and Amy Poehler hosted the 71st Annual Golden Globe Awards last Sunday.

The comedic, dynamic duo brought the house down with their introduction by cracking jokes at the expense of the nominees.

Poehler told Matt Damon that he was basically a garbage man compared to the rest of the stars in the room and Fey called “American Hustle” an explosion at the wig factory.

Julia Louis-Dreyfus smoked an e-cigarette and Poehler purposefully and incorrectly called Tom Hanks “Tame Honks.”

“So let’s gets this party started. Ladies kick off your shoes. Gentlemen try them on, and see how horrible they are,” Poehler said.

The evening went smoothly, with presenters like Robert Downey Jr., Emma Stone and Johnny Depp. The presenters did funny bits, read the nominees and the winners made their way to the stage through the crowded maze of tables and chairs.

A clearly nervous but excited Jennifer Lawrence accepted the award for best performance by an actress in a supporting role for her part in “American Hustle.”

She ended her jittery speech by saying, “Sorry I’m shaking so much, don’t ever do this again!”

Matt Damon took to the stage to introduce “Captain Phillips,” a best motion picture nominee in the Drama category.

“It’s me, the garbage man. The garbage man who didn’t bring his glasses, fantastic,” Damon said.

“Breaking Bad” took home two awards for its fifth and final season. Bryan Cranston won best actor in a television series for his role as Walter White and the show itself won best drama series. Creator Vince Gilligan accepted the award.

“It gives all the people up here … one more chance to thank the fans of the show,” Gilligan said.

Miss Golden Globe 2014 was Sosie Bacon, the daughter of actors Kevin Bacon and Kyra Sedgwick. Tina Fey interrupted the parents’ speech by announcing that “in the name of gender equality,” Mr. Golden Globes was her adult son Randy, played by a suited and wigged Amy Poehler.

Poehler channeled a smart aleck boy and stepped into the audience in search of his unknown father, settling on Idris Elba, who was nominated for “Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom” and the mini-series “Luther.”

“No Randy, Idris Elba is not your father. Think about it,” Fey yelled from the stage.

With a martini in one hand and her shoes in the other, Emma Thompson marched to the microphone and informed the audience that the red on the bottom of her heels was her blood.

Having to announce the winner of best screenplay, she demanded the envelope and, in order to open it, she tossed the heels behind her before announcing Spike Jonze as the winner for “Her.”

Poehler won best leading actress in a comedy series. Her win was announced as she sat in the audience on Bono’s lap; they kissed and she gracefully took the stage.

Friends for 45 years, Diane Keaton accepted the Cecil B. DeMille award on Woody Allen’s behalf. The actress gave a beautiful speech and sang a song about friendship.

Leonardo DiCaprio took home the award for best leading actor in a comedy for his role in “The Wolf of Wall Street” and Cate Blanchett won best leading actress in a drama for “Blue Jasmine.”

“American Hustle” took home two more awards, one for best comedy and one for Amy Adams as best leading actress in a comedy.

Director Steve McQueen (“12 Years a Slave”) accepted the award for best drama and the night came to a close.

“Thank you everyone. This is the beautiful mess we hoped it would be,” Fey said.

“And I got to make out with Bono! Goodnight,” Poehler concluded.

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