TW: this story contains references to PTSD, dissociation and suicidal thoughts.

When many people think of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, or PTSD, they think of veterans who have returned from war. There is an assumption that only veterans can suffer from it, as if PTSD is something you earn from having a certain kind of traumatic experience. Other people, when the concept of being triggered is mentioned, think of it as a meme or trivial joke. People say things like “I’m so triggered” over a minor inconvenience. People often trivialize the experience of being triggered, portraying it as an overreaction to a minor inconvenience. Both of these perspectives are false. PTSD is not earned; rather, it is a way an individual’s brain copes with an experience so intense that the mind is unable to process the experience. Every brain is unique, so different things can trigger PTSD in different people.

Trauma is not just related to military service. My own trauma comes from a long history of negative and impactful childhood experiences. I did not “earn” my PTSD, and I did not choose to be put in situations where it could develop. It just happened to me. My therapist has tried to teach me that PTSD is a natural response to an unnatural situation, and I am finally in a place where I can accept that. Though PTSD is a mental illness, it also is a result of my brain trying to protect itself.

As far as triggers go, I want to emphasize that they are real. Sometimes they make sense — I have a friend who is triggered by sirens. Other times, however, they seem random or strange. I have a different friend who is triggered by the smell of eggs. I, for a long time, was triggered by brushing my teeth. These things seem trivial, but there are stories behind these triggers that explain why they exist. The thing is, though, you are not entitled to those stories. I could explain exactly what happened to me and why brushing my teeth made me dissociate (feel like I was leaving my body) and feel suicidal, but that is my story to choose who to tell to. If someone tells you something that triggers them, your response should not be to interrogate them and judge whether their experiences legitimize the trigger. Your response should come from a place of compassion; ideally, you would believe the person and do your best to either separate them from the trigger or comfort them in whatever way they need. If someone tells you they have PTSD, let them know that you’re a safe person to talk to, offer to connect them to any resources you know about like the Center for Counseling and Wellness and do not pry about their experiences. They will tell you as much or as little as they want you to know.

Ultimately, my hope is that by talking about PTSD, I can help those at Calvin who struggle with the disorder to feel less alone. PTSD is an incredibly isolating disorder, but there is strength in numbers. I hope to encourage people to empower themselves and get the help they need and deserve. I also hope that I have been able to provide a brief crash course on PTSD’s legitimacy and how to respond when someone reveals they have it or are triggered. It is important to remember that, unless you’re the person’s therapist, it is not your responsibility to guide them through overcoming their PTSD. However, everyone can use a friend, especially those of us who have had experiences that make us feel unmoored.