After a long two weeks of midterms, projects and presentations, all I wanted to do was get my mind off of studies and do something fun. What better way to have fun than do my favorite thing, dance! Even though I had other events to attend to that day, I was excited to rush home, change and get to Johnny’s for the “Dipped in Gold” party, hosted by Sister to Sister and ISDC. I knew my favorite guest DJ was going to be there, playing hot music that I ACTUALLY knew the words to. It was going to be a fun night.

As I walked to Johnny’s, I cut through the CFAC to avoid the cold. I noticed a lot of alum and families who were here for Family Weekend, and my first thought was honestly not the greatest: “Wow, I know some of these people are going to want to see how Johnny’s has changed since they’ve been here. I hope not; they are going to see the party and freak!” I walked into Johnny’s, thinking there would be tons of people, since it was late. Nope; the same group of people who attend every ISDO party, along with the “same” majority students who dance on their own, but not with the group. I am usually the type to go over and invite those people to join us, but after many failed attempts, at many events, I chose not to this time.    

As I made my way around the dance floor, I noticed families begin to come into Johnny’s. I watched a man come in stare at us with an obvious face of disgust, and immediately turn around. I saw families walk in and avoid looking our direction and make whispering motions. I heard the same comments that I made to myself, from many other students of color, “Oh shoot, look at those alum. We should hide so they don’t know who we are.” I know that we may have been overreacting, but as a student of color on a majority white campus, you can’t help but wonder, “Are they talking about me?” Even after a great night, I couldn’t help but think, “Why was I afraid to fully be myself?”  “Why was I uncomfortable when alum and families came around?”  I started to think that it was because of me, and the music I liked and the way I danced. I felt uneasy.

After lots of contemplating, I told myself, it was not the music and the dance moves that I was afraid people were judging. It was the potential judgement and stereotypes placed on me and my friends due to our music styles and dance moves. I couldn’t help but think of the lasting impression that people held when they left Johnny’s. I would hope that it was, “They look like they’re having fun!”, but I sensed a “Look what music they brought into our college” vibe. In the end, I had to remind myself that this bass-boomin’ music is part of my culture; my loud voice that carries throughout the room is part of my culture; my bold and dramatic dance moves are part of my culture. Sure, you might not see it on the stage at Rangeela, but it is still MY culture, and I should NOT be ashamed to show it off.  

My culture, contrary to the stereotypes that have been placed upon it, does not stop me from being just as educated, just as respectful and just as responsible as any other student on campus. Any negative judgement placed upon my friends and I are false, and they would know that if only they tried to get to know us. So from now on, I embrace myself, and I encourage those on campus to join us; ask about our music; dance with us. No more, “I’m not familiar with this music.” “I can’t dance.” “I don’t feel comfortable.” You are preaching to the choir. You are telling that to a person who most likely feels that way at every other Calvin event on campus. Sometimes you have to feel uncomfortable to make others feel comfortable. And, you never know, you might have more fun than you thought.